Obama, Abbas, Netanyahu Meeting

The efforts of the US President to kick-start the Arab-Israeli Peace Plan has borne fruit:

1. It has been agreed that Abbas’s name will come before Netanyahu’s – alphabetical order and all.

2. The Israeli flag will be at the right of Obama at the photo-op, compensation to the Israelis for the undue advantage given to the Arab’s by the alphabet (please note Obama is left-handed and it’s not his fault).

3. The meeting has noted Netanyahu’s protest regarding the alphabet and questioned why it should not start from Z.

4. Obama has promised to present the UN Security Council a resolution (Res. No. Z-A. 01001) proposing the condemnation of the Alphabet for giving undue advantage to the Palestinians.

5. It has also been agreed that the word “Settlement” – if it comes up at all, has no connotation to the Israelis agreeing to any of the UN resolutions passed against them in the past 50 years.

6. Also the word “Settlement” certainly bears no reference to the Israelis paying the Palestinians or any Arab country for that matter, compensation for wanton ‘targeted’ assassinations, annihilating entire villages or for orchestrating the destitute death of Arafat (Note the ‘A’ at the beginning of his name too!) in his besieged quarters. The Israelis agree not to draw further attention to Abbas’s collaborative efforts in the orchestra.

7. In return for resolutions 4, 5 and 6 above – this document will be printed on beige paper as white hurts Abbas’s eyes.

8. The Israelis have also been compensated for 7 above, through an allowed smirk from Netanyahu.

9. In order to assist Abbas constructively, Netanyahu has conceded to increase (by 0.5%) his rhetoric criticising Abbas to shore up Palestinian sympathy for him (Abbas, not Netanyahu or Obama – Obama’s doing just fine with the Palestinians).

10. It has also been agreed that item 10 be included because 10 is a good round number.


©Copyright, M. S. Mahmud, 2009: if you mess with this notice, I will have Obama persuade the UN Security Council to pass a resolution allowing the use of your house/cybercafe/village/city as an International Zero-Responsibility Nuclear Testing Site (IZRNTS), more specifically Resolution No. Nuk-U 01.xLong.yLat.