1. Apple and blackberry were just fruit.
2. Java came in a cup.
3. One said “Searching” when he was searching for something and “Googling” was baby talk.
4. When you measured in length and weight, not in Megahertz and Gigabytes.
5. A virus made you sick – not your machinery.
6. When “Chatting” was actually vocal.
7. Protocol meant etiquette.
8. A robot was a clunky machine and you can actually run away from.
9. A cookie was tasty and didn’t invade one’s privacy.
10. Only Kings had domains.
11. A flash belonged on a camera.
12. Yahoo! Was only shouted out when one was genuinely merry.
13. When “Phishing” was spelt right and was legal and enjoyable.
14. Tweeting belonged to the birds.
15. You punched someone in the face to “unfriend” him.
16. Servers and hosts inevitably had something to do with food.
17. You needed poison to debug and mice didn’t have pads.
18. A tablet wasn’t too big to go down your throat with a glass of water.
19. You needed a backup only if your opponent was bigger than you.
20. Swiping was still a crime.
21. “Undoing” something was sorcery.
22. Hacking involved cleavers.
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