1. Make arrangements to withdraw all sequestered funds from Swiss banks. Cayman Islands perhaps?
2. Have learnt a valuable lesson from Tunisia, Egypt, Bahrain and others; don't build anymore town squares.
3. See if there is space for sale in Sharm el Sheik, preferably next to Mubarak’s place.
4. In the event of an uprising, blaming Al Qaeda will not make the US support me – mandate spin doctors to find new excuse.
5. Phone Abdallah and inform him – I finally understand the West’s foreign policy of “We have no permanent allies, we have no permanent enemies, we only have permanent interests.” I always assumed I was the interest. Silly me!
6. Burn my copy of the “The Prince” by Niccolo Machiavelli.
7. See if some of Gaddafi’s mercenaries can be contracted for a hit on Al Jazeera management.
8. Apologize to Ahmedinejad and make friends with. See if he can give me tips on quelling protests and surviving to tell the story.
9. Update my facebook & twitter status with a more earnest smile photo.
10. Order more anti-depressants. I really believed my people when they said they loved me and kissed my hand.
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