Having some free time on his hands now, Hosni Mubarak decided to put the record straight and write a memoir. In keeping with the trend it was promptly leaked. Some excerpts:
1. I suspended the constitution for 30 years because it would have hindered all the democratic gains I have made in our great nation.
2. Recent Achievements: Taught all the other suckers that YOU CAN shutdown the Internet.
3. My sons & daughters came out to Tahrir Square to thank me for being there for them for - well almost forever.
4. Tahrir Square: I sent some tanks to provide water to my people.
5. I stepped down to let other unlucky countries catch up with Egyptian democracy.
6. I have relocated to my residence in Sharm el-Sheikh in the hope that the Israelis will occupy it for a third time so I can finally be home.
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